What is Domestic Violence

Domestic violence takes many forms, although it is usually a combination of physical, sexual, psychological, emotional and economic abuse that is used systematically by the abuser to control the person they are abusing. Domestic violence and abuse happens in lesbian relationships as well as heterosexual relationships but statistically most abusers are men. Lesbian women are not precluded from using refuge services.

If your partner or ex partner does any of these things:

1

Physically hurts you or your children

2

Sexually abuses you or your children

3

Verbally abuses you or your children

4

Threatens you or your children

5

Makes you believe you're going mad

6

Hurts, or threatens to hurt, your pets

7

Smashes things in the house

8

Isolates you from your family and friends

9

Wants to control everything

10

Blames you for the way he behaves

11

Puts you down, disrespects you and ridicules your beliefs

12

Says that if you ever leave him he'll find you and kill you

13

Says that if you ever leave him he'll kill himself and/or your children

14

Says you're an unfit mother and he'll have the children taken into care

15

Makes you believe you're going mad

16

Always promises it won't happen again

17

Denies it ever happened in the first place

18

Makes you feel as though you can't do right for doing wrong

19

Tells you what to do, what to wear, how to be

20

Takes your money or denies you money for food...

...then you are living in an abusive relationship.

There are lots of other ways that abusers use to have power and control over you. They may not all happen all of the time, but they keep you ‘walking on eggshells’ because you never know when it’s going to happen again.

Men Seeking Help

Welwyn Hatfield Women’s Refuge recognises that men and boys can experience domestic violence too. If you are a adult male needing domestic violence support services you can contact the Men’s Advice Line on (freephone) 0808 801 0327. Please check their website for opening times and contact options.

Mens Advice Line