What is Domestic Violence

Domestic violence takes many forms, although it is usually a combination of physical, sexual, psychological, emotional and economic abuse that is used systematically by the abuser to control the person they are abusing. Domestic violence and abuse happens in lesbian relationships as well as heterosexual relationships but statistically most abusers are men. Lesbian women are not precluded from using refuge services.

If your partner or ex partner does any of these things:

Physically hurts you or your children

Sexually abuses you or your children

Verbally abuses you or your children

Threatens you or your children

Makes you believe you're going mad

Hurts, or threatens to hurt, your pets

Smashes things in the house

Isolates you from your family and friends

Wants to control everything

Blames you for the way he behaves

Puts you down, disrespects you and ridicules your beliefs

Says that if you ever leave him he'll find you and kill you

Says that if you ever leave him he'll kill himself and/or your children

Says you're an unfit mother and he'll have the children taken into care

Makes you believe you're going mad

Always promises it won't happen again

Denies it ever happened in the first place

Makes you feel as though you can't do right for doing wrong

Tells you what to do, what to wear, how to be

Takes your money or denies you money for food...

...then you are living in an abusive relationship.

There are lots of other ways that abusers use to have power and control over you. They may not all happen all of the time, but they keep you ‘walking on eggshells’ because you never know when it’s going to happen again.

Men Seeking Help

Welwyn Hatfield Women’s Refuge recognises that men and boys can experience domestic violence too. If you are a adult male needing domestic violence support services you can contact the Men’s Advice Line on (freephone) 0808 801 0327. Please check their website for opening times and contact options.

Mens Advice Line

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Policy Statement for Sexual Abuse

WHWR recognises there are high incidences of domestic sexual assault and that it is difficult for a victim to disclose to key workers.
We believe that survivors of sexual violence deserve to be treated with respect, empathy and compassion. We recognise that sometimes taking the first step can be the hardest, and we are here to ensure you have access to specialist qualified support within refuge and referring partners.
Women entering our refuge are enabled to disclose their experiences and where available are offered specialist support with these issues from organisation accredited under the Rape Crisis England and Wales National Standard including SARC Hertfordshire.
https://rapecrisis.org.uk/
https://hertssarc.org/professionals/
https://www.junocounselling.co.uk/

Leaving a gift in your will is one of the biggest things you can do to make a difference to the lives of women and children affected by domestic abuse.

For over 30 years we have been working to build a world where violence against women and children is no longer tolerated. By leaving a gift in your will to Welwyn Hatfield Women’s Refuge & Support Services you can play a crucial role in creating this world.

Gifts in wills are special gifts, entrusted to us by those who share our values and vision for the future. They are critical to our work and the lives of women and children across the country because we support women who flee from all areas of the country, including Wales and sometimes Scotland.

No matter the size, your gift will be used to transform lives, strengthen life-saving services, and protect the rights and safety of survivors in the years ahead.

For more information, please email our CEO, denise.fenn@whwr.org